My no-make up selfie is to admit that I still feel insecure even though I don't wear make-up.
I've not known how to respond to the no make-up selfie campaign because I have been unsure about how much it is actually connected to the misery of suffering from cancer or knowing someone who does, but I have been shown that a campaign can do a lot without being directly connected, and it seems to be having a good side-effect - which is to suggest to us all that make-up, when it becomes a must, hides our true beauty and possibly diminishes us in some way.
I have not worn make up daily for around six years. I wear it sometimes and really enjoy the fun of putting it on. I do find that when I wear make up I get more compliments and that tempts me to wear it when I am feeling low or insecure.
And guys, I do feel insecure. The fact I don't wear make-up does not mean I feel beautiful all the time. I wish that were true.
The reason I don't wear make-up is that I have found that I actually feel better about myself and more-empowered in the long run when I don't wear make-up, than when I do. This is because the feeling of confidence that I get from wearing make-up only lasts until I find the next thing to feel insecure about, or feel like I need to wear more make-up, or do my hair better, or whatever.
Wearing make-up makes me think more about my appearance. If I am wearing it I am more likely to hold myself in a way which I think will be attractive, or to restrict what I say and how I say it to please other people.
Not wearing make-up gives me moments where I feel really unattractive next to women who look more beautiful to me. I sometimes think thoughts like, "If I were to wear make-up maybe _____ would find me attractive."
However, not wearing make-up has also freed me, over time, to think less about my appearance (this is only less than 'a lot' - I still worry about it often). It has freed me to think things such as, "If they want me because I'm wearing make-up then they obviously aren't the kind of person I want to be with."
I think that, while I don't feel beautiful all the time by any means, I wouldn't feel more beautiful over time if I were to change anything about myself, whether that is using make-up or not. This is because the very reason we don't feel beautiful is because we believe there is something that needs to be changed. Make-up IS this. Make-up is also fun and an enhancer, as is wearing a nice dress. But make-up, at the core of why it exists, is something to change us and improve us.
Whether we wear make-up or not, while we believe the untruth that we will be more beautiful if we change ourselves, we will still feel unattractive.
The truth is, that we are most beautiful when we are fully ourselves and when we know that. If we knew how beautifully God has made us and everyone, then we would be free to relax into ourselves. That takes a long time, but it is the most life-giving process.
If being ourselves means enjoying our appearance and doing fun things with it, then that's great too. But if we feel the need to hide, we need to be asking ourselves what we are really hiding from, because I can bet you we aren't actually hiding from a spot, or rings around our eyes, or light coloured eye lashes. We are most likely hiding from ourselves and the fact we don't actually believe we would be loveable if people saw the 'real me'.
A person who knows they are loved and accepted, who loves and accepts themselves and so is free to love and accept others is so very attractive that everyone wants to be around them. It feels safe and freeing to be with them, because they don't demand anything from us. Think about the people who you most love being around and who make you feel best about yourself when you are with them. They are most likely people who have learnt to love themselves.
So the true way to feel attractive is to work on trusting in God's love for us and on loving ourselves. Then, and only then, will we feel no need for cover-ups.
Believe me, I'm not there yet.
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