Lent 13: What would make you believe?

"Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders," Jesus told him, "you will never believe." John 4:48

It occurs to me that, for myself, and for many, the problem is different.  No matter how many miraculous signs and wonders I see, I will not believe.

It is not that I don't believe, but seeing or hearing about miracles doesn't seem to increase my belief.  At the time I am amazed and say, now I can truly believe.  But after a while that feeling weathers a bit and I am not quite so sure if it ever really happened, or whether there isn't just a different explanation.

I wonder what Jesus would say to me and to our society instead of this.  Perhaps, "Unless you people have rational explanations and proved evidence for my existence, you will never believe."

In the end, no end of miracles and/or rational explanations for God will make me believe.

What makes me believe is looking back over my life and seeing the fine, but strong, thread of God's work in my life.
The gentle hand that has lead me, picked me up, dusted me off and started off patiently with me again.
It is seeing the times when I have tried to exist independently of God, and what has happened; and the times when I have thrown myself upon God for guidance, and what has happened.
It is those times when God has met with me so tangibly and so powerfully, that I cannot deny it.
It is the gentle but overwhelming presence of Jesus which I am learning to wait upon.
It is the coming-to-life in the Spirit of words written thousands of years ago, and when they speak right into the centre of myself.
It is the gradual realisation which strengthens with each experience, that God is leading me somewhere, and if I will follow, it will be so very good.
It is the way in which I have seen the Creator of the world creating continuously and bringing good out of what is painful and difficult.

Miracles can be wonderful and beautiful things, so can rational thought and reason (gotta love modern medicine), but I believe God's true mission is in the hearts of people and so their experience is where belief is truly grounded.  That is where mine is to be found.