Lent 45: They killed my Lord.

... he said, "It is finished."  Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.  John 19: 30

I know that Jesus had to die - that it was the only way to defeat the violence, sin and death that ruled our world - that it was the only possible outcome of such a revolutionary life - that it was the only way to avoid responding in violence - that it was the sign the world needed - that it was how a way could be made for us to truly be with God - that it was the greatest way for God to show just how deep his love is for us - that it had to be.

But I still can't bear it that they, that we, killed this man. 

That the best, the truest, the most authentic human being who ever lived, had to die.

That this man who has become my closest friend, who speaks truth into my deepest being, and who holds me in my darkest moments, was beaten, mocked, despised, isolated and killed in the most violent of ways.

They killed my Lord.